4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
