Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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