Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
