Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
