her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
