We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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