Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
