If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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