Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
