i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
