In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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