he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
