Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I hope mine doesn't look like that
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
