dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
