I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize