So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
