Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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