doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
