3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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