Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
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somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
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I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
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