she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
