I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
