And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
