I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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