HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
