I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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