we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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