I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The ass gains better be worth it
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