You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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