Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
