I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
