I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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