Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
