She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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