Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
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I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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