We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
