your parents love me but you hate me
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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