I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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