so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
