Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
