Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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