I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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