I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
