On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
