yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
