pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
