I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He passed out mid-signature
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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