it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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