You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
