Nicole vs. Life
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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