Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
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If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
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I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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