i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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