I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
