Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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