so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
