It's Friday. Sex?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize