There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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