You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
