Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
