Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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