There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
