oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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