You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Randomize
