No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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