My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
