left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
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